Someone's high hopes- to dash or not to dash

Someone close to you is brimming with optimism – that something they are anticipating is going to transpire in their favour. They have rationalised all related events to point to their success. Be it a test, an interview, a pregnancy test, or whatever.

You, having witnessed several such cycles of hope and disappointment by now, feel an urge – an urge as high as their high hopes – to temper this optimism. What do you do?

A matrix of emotions

Let's try to chart the state of their emotions in different scenarios.

	How do you handle their high hopes?	Their emotional state before the event	Event transpires	Their emotional state after the event
1	You try to temper their hopes	They are clouded with doubt, feel unsupported	They succeed	They feel joyful, content
3	You stay hopeful too	They feel hopeful and optimistic	They succeed	They feel joyful, content
2	You try to temper their hopes	They are clouded with doubt, feel unsupported	They fail	They are disappointed, potentially resentful due to perceived lack of support
4	You stay hopeful too	They feel hopeful and optimistic	They fail	They are disappointed

The point here is that, in the cases where they fail, the intensity of their disappointment would probably remain the same, whether or not you had tried to temper their hopes. So why not let them have their positive state of mind for a longer period?

The catch is that you can't just look hopeful for the sake of it. You have to feel it. Otherwise, having had to hide your true feelings, you run the risk of feeling frustrated yourself!

Of course, the worst case is that you are overcome with the sentiment of I told you so.